E3 has an explosive information problem. Thoughtless journalists hit your RSS reader with headlines like so much shrapnel. By the end you’re lucky if you’ve only lost an eye. Fortunately, the brave staff of Pixelsocks.com has thrown themselves on that deadly overextended metaphor, and today you reap the benefits. So here’s everything worth knowing from E3; read it so that our sacrifice was not in vain.

Today we hit portables. Wednesday will see digital distribution games, and Friday we’ll do consoles and PC.

3DS

Ok, the 3DS isn’t a game per se, but its unveiling came with a list of games as long as your arm:

Nintendo
Animal Crossing, Kid Icarus: Uprising, Mario Kart, nintendogs + cats, Paper Mario, PilotWings Resort, Star Fox 64 3D

Electronic Arts
The Sims 3

KONAMI
HIDEO KOJIMA’S METAL GEAR SOLID SNAKE EATER 3D “The Naked Sample”

LEVEL-5
Professor Layton and the Mask of Miracle (name not final)

Majesco Entertainment
A Boy and His Blob

NAMCO BANDAI Games
PAC-MAN & GALAGA (name not final)

That’s just the shortlist of heavy hitters with specific gameplans. This was actually culled from a much longer list of games, publishers, and their promised franchises over at 1up. Most systems launch with a whimper, but Nintendo isn’t screwing around with the 3DS. Even if you think 3D is a worthless gimmick, there’s a hell of a lot to watch on this one. Just make sure that your 7-year olds (and younger) aren’t watching it with you.

Secret of Mana and Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions (iPhone)
I’ll spare you the trailer for these games because SquareEnix copped out and just embedded each title screen in an iPhone frame. You can why, however: Tactics is 13 years old and Mana is almost old enough to vote. If you’re likely to anticipate one of these two games, your heart will flutter at the opening strains of the title theme, and nobody else will have any idea what’s going on, and oh god why am I so old?

However, you should care, and iPhone OS4 is the reason why. It’s self-evident that a touch interface is superior for turn/tile-based strategy games like Tactics, but Apple’s latest portable OS revision should make Secret of Mana legitimately playable on a portable device for the first time ever. The advent of bluetooth keyboard integration should make twitchier games like action-RPGs a little friendlier. That alongside the local wireless communications from OS3, make Secret of Mana a virtually perfect portable game.

Of course, that assumes that SquareEnix is willing to forgo an overpriced shovelware port of both games in favor of reprogramming them to take advantage of a platform’s strength. Just because they’ve never ever done that before is no reason to…sigh.

The Third Birthday (PSP)

Parasite Eve is a twelve year franchise distinguished from its peers by a sheer dearth of actual games. There have been 11 years since the last (and only) sequel and the franchise was dead outside vague promises and FMV trailers. With the reveal of a nominally playable demo at this year’s E3, the game is finally taking shape and it’s actually looking pretty cool. This third game also proves a heretofore undiscovered fact about the franchise: Parasite Eve can’t go two games in a row with the same genre. The first game was an action-RPG that emphasized tactical positioning, the second game was traditional survival horror, and according to 1up, this one will be something of a strategic shooter.

The Third Birthday keeps to the series conceit that mitochondria are a ubiquitous parasite that can hijack your body at any time. Protagonist Aya Brea got into the whole “melt into goo and become a monster” scene before it was cool, so she can command her parasites and use them to hop from body to body. If you’ve ever wanted to be an agent in The Matrix, this will probably be your big chance. Hopping bodies means that you’ll inherit the equipment and health of your host, so it’s essentially an interesting riff on the Halo mechanics of scavenging weapons and regenerating health. Director Hajime Tabata reportedly plans to enforce this mechanic by limiting ammo, so I hope you’re comfortable using hapless lives as an expendable resource.

Next time, downloadable games!

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Tags:   3DS · E3 · E3 2010 · Final Fantasy Tactics: War of the Lions · Secret of Mana · The Third BirthdayNo Comments

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